Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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