very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
