Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
