About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
