there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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