you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
