Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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