I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
