One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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