Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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