Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize