last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
this is an emotional support booty call
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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