Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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