She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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