i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
