My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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