I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
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