It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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