actually, I'm a sock model
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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