Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
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high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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