ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

  Fav 7 855 1999

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

  Fav 10 3185 860

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college

  Fav 32 5950 999

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

  Fav 22 938 4852

  share tweet
  
• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

  Fav 12 4944 1765

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

  Fav 6 3217 1198

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early

  Fav 9 3327 1411

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.

  Fav 7 2445 990

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

  Fav 9 2573 850

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

  Fav 7 1270 786

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.

  Fav 7 1845 664

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.

  Fav 5 890 609

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

  Fav 5 2158 895

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was

  Fav 3 1130 579

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (316): View more from Kansas

  I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.

  Fav 1 685 504

  share tweet
  

Randomize