she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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