This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.