i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize