I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
