that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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