i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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