this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She even gives head with a lisp.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
