just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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