Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
