okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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