Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
