come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
