First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
