Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
