i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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