Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
there is glitter all over my balls
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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