Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize