Jerry, you need to find god
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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