Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You ruined the universe
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
