Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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