i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
