What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
