i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
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I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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