Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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