Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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