woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My vagina is officially offended.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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