At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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