I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
