Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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