Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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