guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
