The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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