Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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