i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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