the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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