i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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