You just made me feel so damn special
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
