Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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